each-beat:

One day we’ll end our days with goodnights and legs tangled up to keep warm instead of chilly goodbye forehead kisses in the garage before you get in your car to drive home. And our long days will lead to slow dancing in the living room and drinking tea on the porch instead of to moments spoiled by curfews and sleepy drives home. I just don’t like seeing you leave, and I’ve been taking each day as it is on its own, refusing to take a single one for granted and immersing myself in the here and now instead of narrowing my focus on the beautiful spot our hearts are leading us towards, but I can’t help but smile at the thought of being able to finish each day without one of us having to leave. How we won’t have to miss each other when it’s dark out, because we’ll still be close.

To lead on, or not to lead on

unkaglen:

Anonymous asked: My friend likes me, but right now, I just see him as a brother in Christ. I already told him how I am not ready for a relationship. And I also clarified how I don’t want to give him false hope and to lead him on. I’ve already told him to wait on God and not for me. I don’t want to disappoint him in the future because I can’t assure him I would return his feelings. He’s been telling me that he would wait until I am ready. Should I tell him to stop, or should I let him wait? 

 

Unka Glen answered: In a certain way it feels good to have someone be interested in you, even when you aren’t interested in them. It’s like being a celebrity with a one-man fanbase. So let’s take a moment to enjoy that feeling. [moment passes] Okay, now you’ve officially passed the point of this being an okay thing, and we are officially in “false hope” territory. Suddenly this has become unhealthy and seriously uncool. 

Certainly this would be different if you were telling this guy that you might be interested in a relationship with him in the future, because you think he’s awesome, but that you need to take some time, perhaps a few months, and work through some issues. If that was the case, and he told you that he would wait for you, that would be kind of romantic. But when you tell someone you aren’t ready for a relationship, that’s a polite way of saying “no”. If someone hangs around after that, we’re getting into semi-creepy territory.

I think the main thing is to be clear and direct. A sharp word spoken today will hurt for a moment, but that’s nothing compared to the pain of weeks and months of false hope. If you try to avoid hurting him, you’ll end up hurting him more, if you accept that he will be hurt in some way by this whole situation, then you can focus on minimizing that hurt. Also, I think he might need to hear something like this: “Waiting for someone who isn’t interested in dating you, shows a lack of self-respect, and you should have much higher expectations of the woman in your life.” 

Also, let’s remember that the enemy tells the same lie to all single Christians: THIS IS THE LAST PERSON WHO WILL EVER WANT TO DATE YOU! This lie keeps us giving false hope to people we want to keep around just in case of an emergency. It makes us stick in bad relationships while the perfect guy comes along and then he sees that you’re taken (hello!). It makes us lonely and desperate and freaked out.

And this is just what people want in a new dating relationship, right? A lonely desperate, freaked out person with the “friend” of the opposite sex giving you the evil eye because he’s been waiting for this spot since before you came along.

Keep it simple. As Jesus said, “let your ‘yes’ be yes, and your ‘no’ be no.” Speak plainly and honestly. If you set out to be honest, you can find a way to say things with gentleness and love. If you set out to avoid confrontation, you’ll end up putting cowardice and your desire for emotional comfort above someone else’s right to be set free by the plain and painful truth.

There v. Here

dearoldlove:

I know you’re “there” for me but what if there is someone who is “here” for me?

‘Sorry’ seems to be the hardest word.

I seriously don’t understand why it’s so hard for some people to say sorry. I mean, you obviously have the time to tell me ALL the excuses in the world! Is it really that hard to admit that you were wrong? I think it’s time for you to man up.

ps. you totally don’t miss me. you’re just bored. just saying. 

-rant over

What Is Love?

leeyounger:

In 1 Corinthians 13, the Apostle Paul says that there is only one stat that ultimately matters in your walk with God - one thing that that truly tells the world who you are, and that is your love (or lack thereof). The real question is, how do I grow in love? What does love look like? What does love do, and what does it not do? What is love?

10. Love Doesn’t Get Fed Up

You watched the Avengers movie, right? Of course you did. Everybody watched it. Okay, let’s talk about the Hulk. I’ve loved comic books all my life, but I never read the Hulk comics. I was never all that pumped about some dude that just gets really angry and that’s his thing. I was always like, “What’s the big deal? He’s just angry guy?” As far as I knew, the Hulk’s story went like this: At some point, an experiment went wrong that changed him in such a way that when he gets angry, he just becomes this uncontrollable mass of anger. As a kid who loved comics, that just didn’t appeal to me. Then I watched the Avengers movie and changed the way I felt about the Hulk. The dude doesn’t just hulk-out when he’s angry… turns out he’s always angry! No, the hulking out has more to do with destruction. He doesn’t just lose control when he’s angry - he loses control when he gets hurt and he’s ready to end the situation by force with total destruction.

Okay, so what in the world does the Hulk have to do with the Bible and the Apostle Paul and his teaching on love in 1 Corinthians 13? Well, check this out: Paul says in verse 7 that love “always protects.” Literally, he says that love “covers everything.” That word we have translated ‘protects’ is a word that means to shield or cover up, like with a roof. It’s also used in the New Testament to mean ‘bearing with’ or ‘putting up with.’ In other words, he’s saying that people who love know how to put up with one another. They endure everything.

I was thinking about this and trying to figure out what these words ‘protecting’ and ‘covering’ and ‘enduring’ had to do with each another. I was trying to wrap my head around it when I finally looked up some more verses where this word ‘cover’ or ‘protect’ or ‘endure’ is used. In one place, Paul is talking about how the missionaries have a right to get paid for their ministry, but he says he would rather ‘put up with’ anything than get paid for his ministry. In another place he and his companions were in one place ministering and he says, “When I could stand it no longer, I sent Timothy to find out about your faith.”

So, this word for ‘protecting’ or ‘covering’ has to do with not reaching the end of your rope. When you are completely fed up and you’ve had all you can possibly stand, you act. Or, if you’re able to ‘endure’ it, you don’t act. Maybe you end a relationship. Maybe you tell your other friends, “I’ve had it with her!” or “I’m done with him!” Maybe you’ve heard people say stuff like, “We’re through, here!” Some people say that stuff when a relationship has built up so much hurt that they simply can’t forgive anymore and they just have to end it.

It’s as if we all have this little hulk inside us when it comes to our relationships. If we get too hurt or if someone pushes the right buttons with us, we can let that little hulk lose and he’ll come roaring out and destroy the relationship. If we let the lid off that little hulk, he’ll smash everything, burning bridges and crushing love and declaring things like, “I’m done with you! We’re through!” 

I think what Paul is saying is that the love we have in Jesus is a love that says, “I’ll never get fed up. I’ll never burn this bridge.” The love we have in Jesus is a love that allows us to endure anything and keep the cover on the little hulk. When Paul says that love “always protects,” I think he’s saying that love protects everyone else from me. This love protects other people from the hulk inside me that wants to destroy stuff when I get too hurt. Love shields everyone from the monster that I could be because this love doesn’t get fed up.

To see the rest of the WHAT IS LOVE posts, just click HERE